Hey Pastors, Moms, Dads, Bible Study Leaders! This is your chance to have your people really experience the Word! Smell the desert sands as the Israelites trek through the wilderness. Catch the enticing aroma of Rahab's living room. Hey, is that fish I smell? You bet, it's Peter and the gang after a hard day fishing with the nets. Experience the STRENGTH and musky scent of John the Baptist...what a guy! hey don't go near those camels...phew! Close your eyes and open your nose--it's like being right there!

We've all had it happen. You get up in the morning, you're running late and you KNOW there's gonna be no time for morning devotions. What are you gonna do??  Relax and call  1-800-I PRAY 4 U!  Once your call is received we will dispatch a religious representative to your home to have devotions for you. Go to work knowing  that when God checks the devotional checklist at your address...you're covered. We have several denominational devotional reps available. We got 3 monks, 2 priests, 6 Baptist ministers, 2 Charismatics and a Presbyterian (just in case). Don't "invite" those bad luck days... call Devotional Delivery today!

All New Self-Righteous 

That's right, they're back! the hit of past Christmases, the Peculiar People Self-Righteous Christmas Cards are here just in time! Got a heathen in the family? Friends that need to hear the Good News? Well say no more, let these cards do the job of witnessing as well as giving Holiday Greeting! some examples are: "The manger is bright and has story to tell. If you don't change your going to H_ _ _!" or how about "May God be with you in your Holiday endeavor. Remember without Jesus you'll burn forever!" or "At Christmas Time we don't drink, dance, smoke or cuss. Wishing as always you could be more like us!" Buy these today!

Other items not pictured: 
The 1997 Tony Campolo Guilt Catalog................................................$18.67 per day 
Seven 'n Heaven Christian Convenience Stores Membership........................................$44.22 yearly 
CCM Guide to being a Millionaire while appearing Humble, Spiritual & Poor..................$33.24 
Saul's Psychic Friends 900# 
(ask for Endora).................................$16.66 per minute 
 

A must for any Youth Leader well studied  in the arts of mayhem, torture, inconvenience, confusion, lock-ins, retreats, summer camps, skating, bowling, backpacking and wienee roasting. This kit has it all: asbestos coverings for office furniture, extra locks for doors to guard against kids, parents and senior pastors mace, wet suit, several small caliber handguns, baseball bats, chains, whips, Premium 911 service, and intravenous caffeine feeder. You'll wonder how you got along without it!!

Hey, remember that time the preacher had his wireless microphone on...then dashed to the restroom right before the service? How about the time he thought he was complimenting the shirt of the Latvian mission worker but in reality he said his wife had chimpanzee lips. Remember that 55 minute sermon he preached... with his zipper open? How about the time he got tongue-tied and instead of saying "FIERY DARTS" he said, "DIERY...." Buy this video today--it's more fun than a roomful of Baptists. (what a thought!)

Shocking New Evangelical Best Seller: 

NOW AVAILABLE! 
The Charlie Jones Junk Mail /  
Fund Raising Home Study Course 

Need some extra cash? Of course you do! We all do! Well, let this man teach you everything you need to know about Junk Mail and the benefits of being in the ministry! Just sit at home  and watch the dollars roll-in! Learn neat phrases like, "After all... it is God's money!" or "Don't worry about us... we'll survive -- somehow!" Order today and receive Charlie's latest book: "How I made a Million from Coffee Mugs!"

CJ's Home Study Course....$144.44