TEASER
XENA: WARRIOR PRINCESS
"The Greater Good"
Written by
Steven L. Sears
Directed by
Gary Jones
Revised Pages: 23-24A, 30-31
Executive Producers
Sam Raimi & Robert Tapert
Renaissance Pictures
SHOOTING DRAFT
100 Universal City Plaza March 07,1996
Universal City, CA 91608 Rev. March 18, 1996 - Pink
(818) 777-0088 Rev. March 26, 1996 - Blue
XENA: WARRIOR PRINCESS
"The Greater Good"
CAST LIST
XENA
GABRIELLE
SALMONEUS
TALMADEUS
NESS
KALUS
PHOTIS
GORNEY
OLD MAN
WARRIOR #1
WARRIOR #2
SET LIST
INTERIORS:
TALMADEUS' TENT
TALMADEUS' TENT BURNED
TALMADEUS' TENT SLIGHTLY REPAIRED
WATER FACTORY
EXTERIORS:
CLEARING
ROADSIDE WELL
ROAD
ROAD NEAR WELL
PATHWAY
ROAD TO FACTORY
WATER FACTORY
TALMADEUS' CAMP
WOODS
CHRONOLOGY
DAY 1 SCENES # 1 - 23
NIGHT 1 SCENES #24 - 30
DAY 2 SCENES #31 - 35
TEASER
FADE IN:
EXT. CLEARING - DAY - ON GABRIELLE
She literally rolls into frame and pops up, her staff at the ready. Her look is intense as she moves the staff back and forth, looking for an opening. It's like the opening of DREAMWORKER (if any of us can remember that long ago), except this time, she looks as if she knows what she's doing. She gets a sly smile on her face, the kind brought on by the knowledge of ultimate victory over an opponent. She suddenly breaks into a choreographed frenzy of staff-swinging; she has obviously learned her defense well. She finishes with the staff locked under one arm at the ready, her other arm out in a defensive position.
GABRIELLE
Hah!
A BEAT, then:
WIDER
to include a very bored Argo. She just looks at Gabrielle and goes back to eating grass.
GABRIELLE
Want to try it. again? okay ...
She moves the staff smartly to a ready position in front of her. Then:
GABRIELLE
Hah!
She drops into a half crouch, the staff moves to an attack position, when we HEAR a LOUD WHISTLE. Argo looks up; Gabrielle reacts.
GABRIELLE
Uh, oh ...
Argo KICKS OUT to the side and HITS THE STAFF. It goes flying out of Gabrielle's hands, spinning through the air and into the hands of:
XENA
who has emerged from the woods and holds the staff. She has a smile on her face.
GABRIELLE
I hate it when you do that! I have to practice.
XENA
Not on my horse. What happened to
attacking tree stumps?
GABRIELLE
Argo has less splinters. And she
doesn't fight back ... usually.
XENA
I wish the two of you could just get
along.
GABRIELLE
It's not like we're at constant war or anything. Argo just doesn't ... like me.
Xena walks over to Argo and rubs her neck.
XENA
Sometimes you have to have patience
with things that annoy you.
GABRIELLE
I never said she annoyed me.
XENA
(smiling)
I wasn't talking to you.
GABRIELLE
Funny! Very, very funny!
XENA
There's a road on the other side of these trees. I'll meet you there. Bring Argo.
GABRIELLE
Hold on... you're trying to teach me a lesson, aren't you? Leave me with Argo and I'm supposed to learn how well we can get along, right?
XENA
Not really. But if you don't want to
be alone with her ...
GABRIELLE
Hey! I'm not afraid of her. You go
on, we'll catch up.
And Gabrielle turns away to pick up her bundle. Out of her sight, Xena whispers something to Argo. Argo reacts, but Xena gives her a look. Argo bows her head. Then:
XENA
Make sure the saddle is tight.
And she sprints off. Gabrielle looks at her go.
GABRIELLE
Make sure the saddle's tight?
As she ponders this, Argo comes up and puts her nose under Gabrielle's hand. She reacts, at first pulling away. Then, she tentatively rubs Argo's nose. Off this, we:
CUT T0:
EXT. ROADSIDE WELL - DAY
Xena stops to get a drink of water. A BEAT, then she spins to find PHOTIS running up to her. Photis is a young girl of twenty who wears simple clothes and carries a water flask like a purse. She looks frantic.
PHOTIS
Are you Xena?
XENA
Yes.
PHOTIS
Thank the gods!
(burp!)
Sorry. Talmadeus is trying to take Lord Seltzer! He's attacking the factory! You have to save him! He's the most wonderful, giving, unselfish man the gods ever sent to our valley. If it weren't for him, we'd still be living hand-to-mouth. Please!
Xena turns and whistles ... long and loud.
3 EXT. ROAD DAY
Gabrielle has her foot in the stirrup. She pets Argo on the side.
GABRIELLE
Okay ... this is good. I knew we could get along. Xena will be so surprised when--
Argo's ears prick up and, with a whinny, she is off, dropping Gabrielle in the dust.
GABRIELLE
Hey! You stupid, conniving, four
footed, daughter of a...
(at a loss)
...mare!
But we go to:
4 EXT. ROAD NEAR WELL - DAY
Argo comes running up the road. She doesn't slow down as Xena leaps into the saddle and heads off toward:
5 EXT. WATER FACTORY - DAY
This place looks trashed. Out in front there are carts loaded with large kegs. There is a large water tank on stilts in this open area. At the moment, the kegs (not the water tank) are being axed by the men. As each one is axed, the water bursts out under its own pressure. Suddenly, NESS, Talmadeus second-in-command, comes out of the factory. He is leading two of his men who are pulling a figure along with them. The figure has a bag over his head. Ness steps forward and signals his men.. They stop what they're doing.
NESS
We have him! Talmadeus will reward us
all tonight!
(to the figure)
He wanted your head by nightfall.
It's going to be the centerpiece on his
dinner table.
With that, he rips the hood off the figure's head. It is SALMONEUS!
SALMONEUS
Are you sure he didn't want flowers? I can get you some lovely orchids, perfect for this time of year! Please! I look terrible with an apple in my mouth!
Ness ignores him. He drags Salmoneus from the steps of the factory as he signals to his men in regards to the factory:
NESS
Burn it down!
His men draw back bows with flaming arrows on them.
Suddenly, the burning tips of the arrows are CHOPPED OFF one by one as the CHAKRAM goes spinning down the line. The men react.
NESS
Swords!
The men pull their swords as the chakram ricochets off a rock and returns ... chopping all the blades in a line as well. Xena's yell is heard and she comes charging into the group, flipping off Argo and landing among the men.
SALMONEUS
Xena!
She turns, gives him a quick beat of an "I should have known" look, then begins her attack, moving this way and that, as these men with stunted swords try to get in an even shot.
NEARBY TREES
Someone is in here. We can't see who it is, though. Only snippets of a (female) hand, a small one-handed crossbow and the colorful dart that is mounted on it. The crossbow comes up and aims ...
BACK TO SCENE
Ness is dragging Salmoneus toward the woods.
SALMONEUS
Xena! Some assistance here! Hello!
Important person being kidnapped!
Xena looks over, sees Salmoneus and Ness, and whistles. Argo kicks out and Ness goes sailing. Salmoneus reacts and hides behind Argo.
With Ness down, the rest of the men begin to give up the cause. Two of them grab Ness and pull him into the brush. They're on the run.
Xena starts to give chase when, suddenly, something hits her in the neck. She grabs for it, spins, her chakram immediately out as she scans the trees. Nothing. Relaxing, she examines the object: the dart. She smells the tip. A worried look crosses her face, as we:
ACT ONE
FADE IN:
6 EXT. WATER FACTORY - DAY
Salmoneus is wandering around, telling people to move things, clean up, top off kegs, and the like. Gabrielle stands over to the side, examining one of the kegs. Argo is next to an open barrel and seems to be drinking from it.
XENA
She's walking near the edge of the woods, scanning it, looking for signs of the attacker. She pauses and examines the dart again. Touching the tip, she tastes it, then spits it out. Whatever is going on, this confirms her theory and she doesn't like it. She touches her forehead... it's slightly wet.
Gabrielle walks up to her. She holds a flask.
GABRIELLE
You know what this is, don't you? It's
just water. Fizzy water.
She takes a drink.
GABRIELLE
He's making money selling water!
(burp!)
Excuse me!
Xena turns and calls to:
XENA
Salmoneus!
He rushes over to her quickly.
SALMONEUS
Ix-nay on the Almoneus-Say. Here I'm
know as Lord Seltzer!
XENA
Why is Talmadeus after you?
SALMONEUS
After me? Why, for my secret elixir! When I came here, these people had no energy, no zip, no spirit! Let's face it; their get-and-go never got up to go anywhere. Until my magic elixir! People felt better, productivity went up. Living conditions were improved...
XENA
And, of all people, they gave you the
credit.
GABRIELLE
Any baby will tell you that burping makes you feel better. Of course, babies aren't in it for a profit.
SALMONEUS
You really haven't done anything about your sarcasm, have you? It's not an attractive trait.
XENA
What did you sell to Talmadeus?
SALMONEUS
(off her look)
Sell? Umm... Okay, maybe there was one little transaction. I sold him some talgamite swords and belt buckles.
GABRIELLE
What's talgamite?
XENA
It looks and feels like metal. Until
it gets wet. Then it dissolves.
SALMONEUS
How was I to know it was going to rain on the big battle? The swords and belt buckles melted and...
GABRIELLE
One big naked defeat.
SALMONEUS
It was ugly. And he is so mad!
(looks around; lowers voice)
So you've got to get me out of here! He's not going to rest until he has me drawn and quartered!
XENA
We're not going to leave these people at his mercy. He'll kill them all. You got them into it, you're staying until they're out of it.
SALMONEUS
Pleading and begging is not going to
change your mind, is it?
At that moment, GORNEY, the shop foreman, tips a barrel over. The large CORK in the lid FLIES OFF and hits Salmoneus in the side of the head. He turns.
SALMONEUS
Gorney, be careful! That water's under pressure! When will I learn? If you want something done right, buy the right people.
And he moves off. Xena and Gabrielle walk over to Argo.
GABRIELLE
How does he manage to do it? Stay alive, I mean. He must have a guardian Moirae. So, what's the plan?
XENA
The plan is to make Talmadeus realize
what he's up against.
Off this, Argo BELCHES. React, then:
CUT TO:
7 INT. -TALMADEUS' TENT - DAY CLOSE ON CLENCHED FISTS
It seems to be a bit of arm wrestling going on. The hands are big and meaty. One of the hands shows signs of repeated scarring on the back. In the background, we HEAR GRUNTS and GROANS as the fists waver one way, then the other.
WIDER
where we meet TALMADEUS with his hand clenched with the second-best arm wrestler in the camp, the man with the scarred hand. The reason for the scarring is apparent. On the table, where the defeated's hand would fall, is broken glass. The muscles flex. A BEAT, then Ness comes in and kneels.
NESS
Lord Talmadeus.
TALMADEUS
Where's Salmoneus?
NESS
We had him at his factory when this woman showed up. She fought with the strength of Ares and the speed of Hermes.
Realization comes over Talmadeus' face and he slams his
opponent's fist into the glass.
TALMADEUS
Xena!
The opponent reacts with a painful SCREAM. Talmadeus enjoys it and presses his hand into the glass just a beat longer than he should, then releases it. The opponent cradles his wounded hand in the other and exits. Talmadeus stands to his full six-foot-five and turns toward Ness. He grabs him by the neck and slowly, almost gently, lifts him to his feet.
TALMADEUS
I was with Xactius when he went up against Xena. The tricky bitch wiped out half his army. What could possibly interest her here?
NESS
Perhaps she's after the elixir.
TALMADEUS
You fool. There is no elixir. It's just spring water.
(then)
No matter. I want Salmoneus!
NESS
Is that wise? With Xena in the picture? What if she wants Salmoneus, too?
Talmadeus grabs Ness by the throat, not so gently this time, and speaks directly into his face.
TALMADEUS
This man ... this man's blood is mine to enjoy, not Xena's. He made a defeat out of a certain victory. He made a fool of my army. And he made a fool of me! There is no creature on earth, nor god from Olympus that will keep me from feeding his broken body to vultures ... while he's still alive. I've sworn
this.. And if I have to go through a dozen Xenas to get his neck in my grasp ... I will.
He pushes Ness aside, grabs up an axe and lets it fly. Ness dodges, but he needn't have ... the target wasn't him. It was a thick piece of wood.
On the wood face, we can see the burned in outline of an unmistakable figure: Salmoneus. The axe buries itself between Salmoneus' eyes. From the look of the wood, it's not the first time it's been hit by an axe. Off this:
CUT TO:
8 EXT. PATHWAY - DAY
Talmadeus (mounted, in the lead) and his men (on foot travel up the path. They watch the trees carefully. Xena steps out from the woods behind them. She 
doesn't do anything, just walks behind them for a bit. Ness turns around to say something to his men and sees her in the back. She waves at him, smiling. With a SCREAM, he charges through his men at her. The men, however, don't know what to make of this. The second-in-command is attacking them? They pull their swords and try to deflect him as he runs at them.
Talmadeus turns in his saddle and sees:
TALMADEUS
Xena!
Just as Ness connects with Xena: his chin, her fist. The other men turn, but they are in a bad position; she's in between them like a whirling dervish, moving down the line, punching each one of the men.
Talmadeus jumps down from his horse and pulls his sword. With a YELL, he attacks her. Xena turns, draws her sword, and deflects his blow. The men watch as their leader goes at her. At first, this seems to be the typical Xena fight; she is just too good for her opponent.
INTERCUT - GABRIELLE - FROM WOODS
She's watching the fight, enjoying it.
BACK TO SCENE
Now, something strange happens. Xena is locked blade-to-blade with Talmadeus when, with a mighty push, he shoves her back ONTO THE GROUND. A BEAT as everyone reacts to this. Xena takes a deep breath. There is a trickle of sweat running down het face. She gets back up, a little more slowly than we are used to. Talmadeus charges. Xena defends. The blades clash again, and, again, she is knocked back, this time to one knee. Xena touches her neck where the dart hit her. Her breath is labored.
GABRIELLE
is suddenly concerned.
GABRIELLE
Something's wrong ...
BACK TO SCENE
Xena stands to her feet. Her legs are wobbly. Talmadeus presses his advantage. Xena is purely on the defensive now and she's being beaten. Talmadeus is screaming with joy.
GABRIELLE
is almost beside herself.
GABRIELLE
What's going on? What's happening?
BACK TO SCENE
Xena tries to throw a side kick into Talmadeus. But it's slow, as if the end of her leg is a deadweight. Talmadeus GRABS HER LEG and kicks the other out from under her. Her sword drops to the side. She looks over to her sword; too far away. Then she looks up, helpless, as Talmadeus stands over her, his sword ready.
TALMADEUS
I'm the man who killed Xena!
** For all you furkin' fork watchers, the fork is visible when Xena rolls out of Talmadeus' way.
His sword raises...
GABRIELLE
takes her staff by one end, SWINGS IT WIDE and THROWS IT. THE STAFF spins through the air like a helicopter blade.
TALMADEUS' WRIST
The staff hits him solidly in the wrist, causing the sword to fly away.
BACK TO SCENE
as Xena kicks out weakly. Talamadeus is taken by surprise and her almost useless foot manages to hit his ankle, knocking him off balance. Talmadeus' men start to move forward. Xena WHISTLES loudly, as:
Gabrielle runs out of the woods to retrieve her staff, as:
Argo comes bounding into the area. Xena stands shakily, her legs almost gone. She grabs the saddle.
XENA
Gabrielle!
Gabrielle takes no time in running for Argo and leaping onto her sideways, holding onto Xena for dear life as Xena WHISTLES and Argo bounds off into the brush.
Ness runs up to Talmadeus.
TALMADEUS
Did you see that? I had her. I had her!
NESS
Maybe it's a trap!
TALMADEUS
No! I saw the fear in her eyes! She's
running for her life!
Off his glee, we:
CUT TO:
9 INT. WATER FACTORY DAY
Xena lies sitting up with her back against the wall as Gabrielle helps to remove her outfit. Xena is in her undergarment now. Gabrielle is not happy with her friend.
GABRIELLE
This was really a stuipid time to try
and keep something from me!
XENA
I didn't know how much Tolmic poison
was on the dart ...
GABRIELLE
I don't care. If there was even a chance of you being sick, you should have told me! You could have gotten killed!
XENA
Gabrielle ... yell at me later.
GABRIELLE
How bad is it?
XENA
I still don't know. My legs are almost useless ... I can't feel my feet. My arms will probably go next.
GABRIELLE
But... but you're going to pull
through, right? I mean... it's not...
XENA
It's going to get worse before it gets
better.
Salmoneus walks up with a determined look on his face. He holds one of his flasks with a wooden nozzle on the end.
SALMONEUS
Okay. I've been thinking about this
and I've made some decisions.
GABRIELLE
You have?
SALMONEUS
Yes. Someone has to take charge. It's a time to be decisive and take command. Someone has to step forward and take the initiative to get us out of this mess! Now... any suggestions on where we could find that person?
He shoots some water into his mouth with the flask nozzle.
GABRIELLE
We've got the person right here. Xena's going to be all right.
SALMONEUS
I know that. You know that. But Talmadeus... he's got a different slant on the deal. He thinks you're... well, he thinks you're... the way you are.
XENA
Then we'll just have to convince him
that I'm okay.
SALMONEUS
And you propose to do that, how?
A BEAT as Xena looks to Gabrielle. She returns the look.
VARIOUS ANGLES
that repeat the shots from the opening credits: black boots being laced; leather skirt being adjusted; and finally, hands lifting out of a bowl with some black liquid all over them. Then:
BACK TO SCENE - ON GABRIELLE: WARRIOR BARD
Gabrielle is wearing Xena's clothes and armor; her hair is jet black. She strikes a pose.
GABRIELLE
What do you think?
INCLUDE XENA AND SALMONEUS
Salmoneus is appraising her, nodding his head. Then, the breastplate slips a bit and droops.
SALMONEUS
I think ... I'd like a grave underneath
a shady tree.
Off that, we:
FADE OUT.
END OF ACT ONE